Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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