careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
no, he came in my armpit
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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