Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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