I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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