you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
