so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
