ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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