i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
