Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize