So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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