I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just cropdusted the office
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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