i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
