I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
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Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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