my mouth tastes like poor choices
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
