Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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