So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
