Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A+ Viking dick
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
