pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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