My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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