Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
