That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
