I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
