i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
