Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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