We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
