Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
