Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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