slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize