I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
