i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
