He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
