Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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