happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
