That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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