His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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