i just had sex bonerless
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize