remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
