Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize