I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
