I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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