My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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