it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
