That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
