lets start a swedish sibling band together
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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