Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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