Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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