I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Shame - the story of my life.
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