Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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