You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
