I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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