smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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