Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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