I hope mine doesn't look like that
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
