what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
