Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
