and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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