I'm eating all of the evidence.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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