Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
