I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
why is half of my head shaved?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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