I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
