I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
