I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
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it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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