I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
