if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Im part way to drunk.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
