So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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