the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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