I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize